With that in mind, here are quotes that I have appreciated.
Often, this separation occurs after a time of silence between you and the narcissist. The hoovering generally happens when you are not making contact, and at times when you are trying to get on with your life. If you are the one trying to contact and make-up, it is more likely that the narcissist will devalue and discard you.
If this is not the case, it is because the narcissist still wants something from you — possessions, money, status, contacts or sex because other sources are momentarily low. Such is the incredible brain-fry when you are stuck in the throes of narcissistic abuse.
Additionally people have been astounded at how — even after the narcissist has moved on with a new partner — that they still make contact, and still try to affect and create reactions. And why is one response back from you sometimes enough for the narcissist to then disappear again? Why Do Narcissists Hoover?
The answer, truly, is simply because narcissists are empty voids. They tend to keep multiple sources of supply as backup, the same way crocodiles store pieces of meat under rocks when other food supplies fall low.
Creepy but true … The worst insult possible to a narcissist is when a person creates their own up-levelling, truly detaches and reaches the healed point of: These are the very fears that the narcissist has been trying to avoid with the use of these tactics: It is unthinkable to most people that someone, after committing such obscene behaviour, could try to hoover and re-hoover the person they have emotionally brutalised back into their life, shamelessly, and often as if nothing at all happened.
Hoovering is NOT about love; it is about necessary narcissistic emotional survival — and everything and everyone is merely an object serving that need. Ultimately this is the best way to: However any attention at all, or the granting of any second, third and multiple chances is only handing the narcissist further narcissistic supply — the narcissistic drug: I want to explain what I mean….
The horrible thing about the cycle of violence is that the abuse intensifies and the cycle becomes tighter and tighter and more frequent. They are not genuinely remorseful, and therefore not accountable or capable of real change.
Rather than acquiesce to the pressure of the reactions of those around them — in order to self-reflect and reform — they create greater defences and bigger self-maladaptation instead. It is at this time that the narcissistic cracks start opening wider as more fully blown narcissistic tendencies emerge.
Either way there is no period of sustained relief for the person who reconnects to the narcissist.
Going back after being hoovered is never good. NO-ONE holds me accountable and gets away with it! It will be flung out the window like it never existed. I myself have experienced the return bouts as horrendous; they happened more and more frequently and violently.
This formula has been identically witnessed within this Community time and time again. This is why it is so important to realise that when people cross the line into conscienceless, non-empathetic pathological behaviour — they have left their soul behind.
Definitely an addict who acts like this due to an addiction can reform, if humble personal responsibility is taken, and if they heal and the addiction ceases.
But someone who behaves like this because of an ingrained Personality Disorder — forget it.Breaking Glitch Presentation Slideshow (Industrial) After Effects Templates Breaking Glitch Presentation Slideshow.
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